Ice Gangs

"So," said Painless cheerfully as the group turned eastward. "What exactly brings you to Philly, if you don't mind my asking? The Capital's an awfully long walk from here."

Ellen grimaced a little; while it wasn't as much of a haul as the trip to the Pitt, the journey north had been a long one, and avoiding Baltimore hadn't helped. "No one in the Capital's had contact with your city in years," she said. "Or if they have, word hasn't gotten around about it."

"Right, I can understand that," says Painless. "The Blood Prince hasn't exactly put in a whole lot of effort to open up communication with points south of here. Doesn't like his relatives, or something."

"Yeah, about that-" Jerald raised a finger. "Blood Prince."

Painless raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"I don't know about here? But where we come from, that kind of name means one of two things."

"Is one of them is an overblown, ludicrous joke?"

"Yes?"

"Well, it's not that one." Painless shook his head. "Believe me, our Prince's gone out of his way to earn that title."

"Oh, great. Barbarian warlords. Just what we need," muttered one of the Knights. Ellen couldn't be sure, but she thought it was Kang.

"I don't know that I'd call him barbarian," said Painless. "At least not to his face. How much do you know about our city, anyway?"

"You've got a sizable population, a moderate to strong labor base, a wild animal problem, and a surprisingly high literacy rate," Jerald answered promptly. "Your ruins are more navigable than the DC ruins, and you've got at least one major ethnic division or rivalry going on. Can't tell whether that's within the city or whether you've got neighbors you despise. More than that I don't know just yet."

"Well, that's not too bad for a start," said Painless after a moment's surprised look. "Yeah, there's a lot of people living in Philly. It's safer this side of the river, for starters, and that's even with the hippos. Which, by the way, are about twelve feet long. They might look like a big bloated joke on tubby little legs, but trust me, those things are fast, and they don't waste time playing with their food. If they catch you, they start eating right off the bat."

"Warning understood," said Jerald. "I'm guessing no Deathclaws up here, huh?"

"Can't say I recognize the word."

"Bipedal predatory reptiles," said Ellen. "Most of them are fifteen feet long nose to tail, or a little less. The breeding ones are bigger. Fast, quiet, and able to rip through most armor before you know they're on top of you."

Painless shuddered. "Nope. None of those," he said. "If we did have 'em, they'd be in the Arena. They sound like real crowd pleasers."

Ellen and Jerald exchanged glances, at least as well as any two people ever could when one of them had a full-face helmet on. "Arena," she said slowly. "Like what they've got in the Pitt?"

"No! Franklin's balls, no," Painless exclaimed. "Don't ever let anyone catch you making that comparison. There's nowhere on Earth that this city's people loathe more than they loathe the Pitt."

"And why's that?" said Jerald. "I mean. Not that the Capital considers the Pitt sunshine and Fancy Lads either, but."

"It's an old, old story, and from what I hear tell, it goes back to before the War," said Painless. "Since we're getting closer to hippo territory, I'll spare you the details. Suffice it to say, there was a time when the Pitt used to send their ice gangs our way on a regular basis. This was back when both cities had ice, you understand. Any other two cities in this hell-hole of a continent would've spent their time and effort trying to kill each other on the field of battle. We, on the other hand, put the fighting in the hands of champions, and we fought each other on the ice at our Arena, or theirs, in front of screaming crowds of more spectators than you could count. Had to, just to make sure everyone knew who came out on top."

"I've been to the Pitt. There's no ice there," said Ellen. "The only arena's the Hole, and you couldn't fit thousands of people around that thing if you tried."

"That's what we've heard," said Painless. "Something happened, years ago- before I was born, in fact. The lights went out in the Pitt, and they went out hard. We didn't hear from them for years. And when we finally did, they weren't interested in bashing each others' champions faces in like civilized human beings. All they wanted was whatever they could carry off. Including people; there were a whole lot of Philly folk who went to the Pitt and never came back. We didn't find out just how bad it was there for a long, long time."

Ellen shuddered.

"Yeah, I know," said Painless. "Anyway- these days, the Blood Prince has a real sharp-eyed patrol team out to look for anyone coming from the Pitt and take care of them before they get within sight of the city walls. Any Yinzers manage to make it past the patrols, he personally has them hurled into the river."

"And that's how he got the name," Jerald finished. "… right?"

"Eh." Painless wiggled one hand in midair. "More like it was just how much of a beast he is on the ice- you don't get to rule Philly unless your gang makes it to the top of the rankings, and you don't beat out guys like the Royals or the Threshers unless you're a truly vicious son of a bitch. He's pretty civilized when he's on the throne, you understand. Especially compared to the guys who run the other ice gangs. Just… don't go up against him in a match if you want to go home with teeth."